The holidays are fast approaching and if you’re planning on giving a handmade gift this season, you’ve likely already gotten started collecting ideas, picking out materials and making up projects. Each year as I go through my holiday list, I very carefully pick who will receive something handmade. If you’re a crafter, you’ll already know exactly why. There’s nothing worse than spending countless hours making something special only to see it thrown aside and under appreciated the very day it’s been given.
Through the years I’ve spent a lot of effort creating my Mental Handmade Gift list. I’m always adding people on who might really appreciate something I’ve made, and deleting names who haven’t lived up to my gift receiving standards 🙂 Along the way I’ve created my own list of rules to follow that have made the process much more enjoyable.
1. Only Give to Those who Do My sister suggested this idea to me years ago, and it is probably the most helpful rule I’ve ever heard. The basic idea is this: If you have a friend who knits, make her a knitted gift, if she sews, sew her something, etc. Anyone who has actually put the effort into learning a skill will know how much time you put into creating your handmade gift and will therefore appreciate the time and creative energy you put into it. And, if they’ve put the time and effort into learning a skill it is usually because they like the end result. I mean, how many quilters do you know who don’t like quilts?
So, if a person doesn’t sew- I never sew them anything. If they don’t know how much effort it takes to make homemade candy, I share store-bought treats instead of breaking into my homemade goods.
There are, of course, a couple exceptions. One is my dad. He is possibly the world’s most appreciative gift recipient. He doesn’t ‘DO’ any of the things I do to create my handmade gifts, but he appreciates them more than just about anyone I know. When he opens something I’ve made he literally jumps with joy, screams in excitement and keeps the object in a place of glory for all the world to see. I mean, with a reaction like that, how could I not make him something?!
My other exception is kids. Most of them are too young to have learned to sew or knit or anything like it. So instead of looking at what they do, I look to their family. If they’ve watched a grandma spend hours making a quilt, they’ve likely been trained to know a homemade quilt is something special. If their mom spends time making special, handmade gifts, she will likely keep an eye out to make sure my hand knit doll is loved.
2. Neighbors Don’t Care Enough Our first Christmas after we moved into our neighborhood I spent way too many hours creating our neighbor gifts. We made homemade hot chocolate mix packaged in adorable white bags and sealed closed with custom labels I’d designed and printed myself. Then on top of the bag was a bow holding a pretty bag full of homemade marshmallows cut into holiday shapes.
Let me tell you, they were amazing. They were beautiful. After I packaged them up, I’d just sit and gaze at how awesome they looked. And, of course, the food was delicious too. And you know what-
no one really cared.
No one even knew what the homemade marshmallows were, and they didn’t even glance at my custom labels before tearing them apart to see what was in the bag. What a waste of time! Now every year we buy a cart full of wrapping paper at Target’s 75% off After Christmas special and throw them in the attic. At Christmas time we spend about 15 minutes of prep time pulling them out of the attic and sticking on stickers that say ‘Happy Holidays Love the Georges’ (they are the labels left over from that first year, so I guess my effort wasn’t a total loss), we deliver them and are done 45 minutes later. And I think people like them better.
3. Buying a Gift is Not an Insult I grew up in a family where a handmade gifts are absolutely treasured. They are considered so much better than store-bought gifts that you have to be careful and make sure no one’s feelings are hurt by not receiving one. Then I married Doug. His family just buys gifts. Our first Christmas together it felt so weird. There I was making handmade gifts for my family, it felt so wrong to just buy something for Doug’s. Like I was screaming for all the world to hear- I DON’T LOVE DOUG’S FAMILY AS MUCH AS I LOVE MINE!!!!!
We are now going into our 7th holiday season as a married couple. And after 7 years of making things for my fam and buying things for his, Doug still has never been offended. And neither have any of his family members.
I know, weird right?
This is a rule I actually love remembering. Once I understood it I was able to get over the guilt I felt and begin to appreciate the ease that came with getting gifts for his family. I could just think of an idea, order it online and be done 5 mins later! That’s pretty great.
I’m almost done making my handmade gifts for this holiday season and I never had to stress out over getting them done! Because I’m only making a few and they are only going to people who will really appreciate them, the whole process has been a lot of fun. Hopefully your handmade holiday experience can be just the same!