Why Can’t Your Healthy Spouse Just Do That?

why cant your healthy spouse just do that

A lot of times people will ask me if we’re going to  ___________ (plant a garden this year? Plan a vacation? Paint a bedroom? etc) and I’ll say that I’ve just been too sick for us to do it.  The common response is, “Yeah, but… can’t Doug do it?”

Yes, of course, Doug does have the physical capability of completing simple projects even when I’m sick.  However, do you have ANY idea how much Doug has to do already?  He works to support us.  His vacation days are spent taking me to the doctor or coming home when I’m so sick I can’t be alone.  After work he cooks us dinner, cleans the house and relaxes to a fun night of fighting our insurance company to cover my last batch of testing.

maslows hierarchy for chronically ill

When I thinking about this subject my mind goes back to my 7th grade Social Studies class.  We talked about Maslow’s Hierarchy of needs.  It’s a pyramid and at the base is a list of needs that have to be filled before you can work your way up to the next step up.  Ever since I got sick I’ve felt like I’m stuck on that bottom level and all the while no one can understand why I’m not accomplishing things at the top.  It’s pretty much the same for Doug.  We live in Survival Mode all the time just to get our basic needs met.  There simply isn’t time or energy for much else.

chronic fatigue awareness day may 12Check out all our CFS posts here!


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